The worst day of my life- one year later

So it’s here.
October 14th.
One year ago today she was diagnosed.
One year ago today we were told she was dying.
She’d stopped growing a few weeks before.
Her fluid was low.
Her placenta was failing.
She was dying.
I can still remember that gut feeling.
I just knew what was coming.
I knew she was going to die.
It didn’t matter.
I still wasn’t prepared for those words to come out of that doctors mouth.
I hate that man.
I hate him for crushing my heart and for having no fucking clue how to be kind with breaking it to us.
Today is the day that crushed my fucking heart.
One whole year.
I miss the numbness that came with last year.

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