I feel like for every step forward I have made lately I’ve taken at least 10 back.
This week has been so hard.
I have no idea why it has been extra painful. I’ve cried every single day. I don’t normally do that anymore.
I’ve wanted to give up so badly.
I’m tired of being brave.
I’m tired of being stong.
I want to give in.
I feel like I have failed.
I failed to give her life.
My body failed to keep her safe and healthy.
I failed to give my family this child.
My daughter lost her little sister.
My son lost his chance to BE a big brother.
My husband lost his daughter.
And then I still couldn’t give them a healthy baby.
I miscarried our last chance.
I’m grieving these two children.
I’m grieving the loss of what I dreamed my family would be.
I’m ready to just break.
Why me? Just why?