Honoring and mothering Annaleigh

Mothering a child who is passed, how do I do it?

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I can’t tuck her in or snuggle her close. There are never any booboos to kiss and make better. None of the things I do for Rylee and Emmett work for her.

Yesterday we did a random act of kindness in her name. Diapers for a stranger since I don’t need them for her. A note telling her story and to hug their baby tight.

Yesterday friends did a random act of kindness in her name. Oh my momma heart just bursts with joy. My girl is remembered, she is making a difference. Gas for the young mom, a message to lost youth, and cookies to my garbage men. How I loved telling them about her.

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Her life may have been short but I’ll never let her be forgotten. That is how I mother the daughter who is not here with me. I share her life. I speak her name. As long as I am living she will be remembered.

We sent her a balloon yesterday. We all wrote on it and the kids decorated it with stickers. We stood the watching it float away till it was no more then a speck in the sky.

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The kids each have animals in one of her outfits that they picked out. It helps them to hold them when they get to be to sad. I have her blanket that stays in my bed. Or I take her urn with me into her room.

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Eric built her a shelf to hold her urn. It holds her bear and little things that remind us of her. She has a shelf in the living room so she is always close. We light her candle, I listen to music that reminds me of her. Every night I think of the sleep book. I’ve read it so often I know it by heart.

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She may not be here in my arms but she is always with me in my heart.

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