Mothering a child who is passed, how do I do it?
I can’t tuck her in or snuggle her close. There are never any booboos to kiss and make better. None of the things I do for Rylee and Emmett work for her.
Yesterday we did a random act of kindness in her name. Diapers for a stranger since I don’t need them for her. A note telling her story and to hug their baby tight.
Yesterday friends did a random act of kindness in her name. Oh my momma heart just bursts with joy. My girl is remembered, she is making a difference. Gas for the young mom, a message to lost youth, and cookies to my garbage men. How I loved telling them about her.
Her life may have been short but I’ll never let her be forgotten. That is how I mother the daughter who is not here with me. I share her life. I speak her name. As long as I am living she will be remembered.
We sent her a balloon yesterday. We all wrote on it and the kids decorated it with stickers. We stood the watching it float away till it was no more then a speck in the sky.
The kids each have animals in one of her outfits that they picked out. It helps them to hold them when they get to be to sad. I have her blanket that stays in my bed. Or I take her urn with me into her room.
Eric built her a shelf to hold her urn. It holds her bear and little things that remind us of her. She has a shelf in the living room so she is always close. We light her candle, I listen to music that reminds me of her. Every night I think of the sleep book. I’ve read it so often I know it by heart.
She may not be here in my arms but she is always with me in my heart.