The phone call

I hadn’t even thought about the blood work coming back as anything other then normal. My phone range late in the evening, it was one of the midwives from my ob’s office. She said my blood work has come back positive. Oh great that is good right. No. That was not good.

It came back with a 1 in 48 chance of this baby having downs. So down syndrome. How the fuck did this happen? I’m 23 I have no increased risk. How on earth can I raise a baby with downs. Do I want to raise a baby with downs? Wait if it came back elevated for down syndrome, does that mean it came back elevated for anything else? I knew of trisomy 13 and trisomy 18 both of which I know are fatal. But no she said that it was just downs. Not what we expected but at least it isn’t fatal.

They decided to send me to a high risk specialist. They were able to explain things to us better they deal with this all the time. We were told that my papp-a was low and that put us at risk of so many problems but I would be monitored very closely and it should be fine. Baby showed no signs of anything being wrong on ultrasound but wasn’t in the best position so we would check again in a few weeks. Upside down on her hands and knees the entire time. Silly girl was stubborn like momma.
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The risk was small they said. We could have blood work done that day and find out for sure but they thought it would be alright. The elevated risk is most likely from the low papp-a. Ok we thought we are fine, baby is fine. Everything is fine. We find out in two weeks if we are having a boy or a girl. Everything is fine.

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A girl, be still my heart, my little Annaleigh Willow Elise. How adorable she was on ultrasound. Everyone was shocked. Rylee was over the moon,a little sister. We spent the day shopping for pink. She once again looked healthy on ultrasound. Everyone thought she was fine.

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I hate that word now. Fine.

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